Asperger Syndrome and Relationships
Life with an adult on the autism spectrum
Dr. Marshack’s blog postings are short and timely. She shares tips that make your complex relationships work better. She also posts questions because she wants to hear from you and share ideas. Bringing people together to help each other is one of her missions.
Note: Some of the older blogs posts have been imported from a previous website and may have broken links. Try the “search” function in the sidebar to find linked pages that appear to be missing.
When love begins to drain your health, something needs to change.
In this episode, we’re uncovering the hidden physical toll that NeuroDivergent relationships can take when chronic stress goes unchecked.
You’ll learn why empathy should never mean sacrificing yourself, how to recognize emotional exhaustion and gaslighting, and the practical steps you can take to protect your well-being.
If you’ve ever felt like your body is paying the price for the love you give, this conversation is for you.
1:00 – Neurodivergent Relationships Physical Toll
1:53 – Stress Impacts Neurotypical Partners
2:49 – My Neurodivergent Relationship Experiences
4:26 – Set Limits on Emotional Labor
5:11 – Need Neurodivergent Relationship Support?
6:53 – Protect Yourself First Always
8:15 – Outro Protect Yourself First
Check out Dr. Kathy’s latest book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome (ASD): Going over the Edge? Anniversary Edition”
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Fear has a way of creeping into our relationships, especially when NeuroDivergence is part of the picture. But what if you could replace fear with faith?
In this episode, I’m diving into the biological roots of fear, the fears that come with meltdowns, and how those fears can silently shape your connection.
You’ll also learn simple daily practices to shift away from fear and strengthen your relationship through faith, understanding, and love.
If fear has been steering the wheel, it’s time to take back control. Tune in and start walking the path toward faith.
0:43 – Neurodivergent Relationships Explained
1:55 – Understanding Fear in Relationships
2:34 – Fear of Meltdowns Discussed
4:19 – Daily Practices for Faith
7:33 – Love and Faith: Final Thoughts
8:30 – How Do You Manage Fear?
Check out Dr. Kathy’s latest book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome (ASD): Going over the Edge? Anniversary Edition”
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Power reveals who we really are, especially in relationships where love and control can become tangled.
In this episode, we’re exploring how power plays show up in NeuroDivergent relationships and what they do to trust, connection, and empathy.
From HOA battles to divorce disputes, we’ll look at how manipulation, false compromise, and emotional dismissal quietly erode bonds.
Most importantly, we’ll talk about how to break free from these cycles by choosing honesty over self-protection and connection over control.
If you’ve ever wondered whether the tension in your relationship comes from love—or from a power imbalance—this conversation is for you.
00:42 Unethical conduct in neurodivergent couples
01:46 Examples of power dynamics: HOA struggles & divorce
02:07 Manipulation tactics: false compromise & emotional dismissal
05:17 Choosing honesty over self-protection in relationships
Check out Dr. Kathy’s latest book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome (ASD): Going over the Edge? Anniversary Edition”
➡️ Follow Dr. Kathy on Facebook
Is your NeuroDivergent relationship thriving, or just surviving?
In this quick episode, we’re diving into what comes after the podcast—the Podcast Afterparty.
If you’ve ever wished for a space to process what you’ve heard, ask questions, or just connect with people who truly get it, the Afterparty was made for you.
It’s a live, confidential discussion space for neurotypical and neurodiverse individuals navigating relationships that don’t always follow the usual rules.
We’ll walk through:
This isn’t just about listening to the podcast. It’s about finding belonging, clarity, and real tools for moving forward, together.
0:43 – Introduction to Neurodivergent Relationships
1:13 – Resources for Neurodivergent Couples
1:28 – Joining the After Party Discussion
1:50 – Importance of Supportive Conversations
2:21 – Invitation to Become a Member
2:47 – Conclusion and Next Steps
Check out Dr. Kathy’s latest book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome (ASD): Going over the Edge? Anniversary Edition”
➡️ Follow Dr. Kathy on Facebook
Understanding each other can feel impossible when you’re not wired the same way.
This episode dives into the emotional complexity of NeuroDivergent relationships, especially where trauma, identity, and communication collide.
We explore the overlap between PTSD and autism, how language can both connect and divide us, and why honoring differences matters more than ever.
Plus, a first look at the Radiant Empathy™ video game – an immersive new way to build bridges between cognitive styles.
If you’ve ever felt like love was present but connection was missing, this one’s for you.
0:43 – Welcome to Neurodivergent Relationships
1:01 – Are We All on the Spectrum
1:43 – Understanding Neurotypical and Neurodiverse
2:22 – Defining Neurodivergence and Autism
3:08 – Exploring PTSD as an Injury
4:05 – Trauma in a Neurodivergent System
4:54 – The Roots of PTSD
5:55 – Differentiating PTSD from Autism
6:30 – Mapping Empathy Territory
6:52 – Reclaiming Your Life
7:41 – Healing Through Mutuality
8:17 – Introduction to Game Characters
8:53 – Immersive Experience of Radiant Empathy
10:51 – Growing into Mutuality
11:14 – Explore the Radiant Empathy Game
11:43 – Connect and Share Your Journey
Check out Dr. Kathy’s latest book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome (ASD): Going over the Edge? Anniversary Edition”
➡️ Follow Dr. Kathy on Facebook
Standing up for the truth can come at a cost, and it’s not always one you see coming.
This episode dives into the emotional and psychological fallout that often follows when you speak up against injustice, especially when power is involved.
From smear campaigns and online harassment to legal threats and professional sabotage, we explore what retaliation really looks like and how to survive it. If you’ve ever felt like telling the truth made you a target, you’re not alone.
0:59 – The Cost of Exposing the Truth
1:57 – Retaliation Takes Many Forms
2:23 – A Real-Life Retaliation Story
3:30 – Escalating Beyond Gossip
3:44 – Legal and Professional Attacks
5:35 – Overcoming Overwhelming Retaliation
5:53 – Key Lessons for Dealing with Retaliation
6:58 – Building Your Support System
7:50 – The Power of Living Well
8:21 – Reclaiming Your Narrative
9:02 – Look Forward to the Next Episode
Check out Dr. Kathy’s latest book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome (ASD): Going over the Edge? Anniversary Edition”
➡️ Follow Dr. Kathy on Facebook
What happens when a nervous system hits its breaking point, and no one knows how to help?
In this episode, we’re naming what so many silently endure: the “brain on fire” experience.
Whether it’s misdiagnosed as mental illness or dismissed altogether, this kind of neurological collapse is real—and often deeply misunderstood, especially in neurodivergent adults.
We’ll talk about:
If you or someone you love has ever struggled to find words for what’s happening inside, this conversation is for you.
1:12 – Exploring Brain on Fire
1:38 – My Mother’s Breakdown Experience
1:53 – A Nervous Breakdown or Neurological Collapse
2:29 – The Impact of Childhood Trauma
3:04 – A Compassionate Encounter
3:27 – The Consequences of Treatment
3:45 – Life Overwhelmed by Stress
3:59 – Defining Brain on Fire
4:18 – Understanding Autistic Burnout
4:31 – Beyond Mental Illness
4:46 – The Sensory Overload Explained
5:01 – Experiences of Neurodiverse Individuals
5:24 – Tools for Understanding the Brain
5:34 – The Relationship That Could Have Been
5:49 – Compassion for Neurodiverse Adults
6:09 – Channeling Love and Understanding
6:19 – A Call for Awareness and Support
6:30 – Practical Solutions for Brain on Fire
6:50 – Creating Supportive Environments
7:10 – Addressing the Neurological Perspective
7:23 – Invitation to Continue the Conversation
7:47 – Key Questions for the After Party
8:20 – Encouragement to Share Your Story
Check out Dr. Kathy’s latest book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome (ASD): Going over the Edge? Anniversary Edition”
➡️ Follow Dr. Kathy on Facebook
What happens when rules replace real connection?
In this episode, we explore how rigid, transactional thinking can quietly unravel the emotional fabric of our relationships and communities, especially in neurodivergent partnerships.
Together, we’ll look at the lived experience behind rule-based logic and why it often leads to misunderstanding, frustration, and emotional disconnection.
If you’ve ever felt unseen in a relationship or unsure how to bridge the emotional divide, this conversation is for you. Let’s untangle the patterns and find our way back to true connection.
1:31 – Understanding Rule-Based Thinking
1:58 – Importance of Emotional Engagement
2:18 – Patterns of Dysfunction in Relationships
2:49 – Rigid Rule Enforcement Versus Common Sense
3:00 – Consequences of Transactional Thinking
3:55 – Emotional Disconnects in Partnerships
4:31 – Empathy Dysfunction Explained
5:15 – Why Responsibility is Difficult to Accept
6:46 – Misunderstanding Assertiveness as Aggression
7:40 – Emotional Nuance and Communication Challenges
8:07 – Bridging the Trust Gap in Relationships
8:40 – Invitation to the Podcast After Party
9:01 – Concluding Thoughts and Membership Options
Check out Dr. Kathy’s latest book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome (ASD): Going over the Edge? Anniversary Edition”
➡️ Follow Dr. Kathy on Facebook
Are you truly connected to the world around you, or just passing through?
In this episode, we explore the difference between having and belonging, owning a breathtaking view versus truly experiencing the land beneath your feet. Through personal stories of life on the Oregon coast, we’ll unpack what it means to engage with nature, not just admire it from a distance.
But this isn’t just about the great outdoors, it’s about relationships, too. How often do we assume that being near someone means we’re connected to them? Neurodivergent partnerships, in particular, highlight the gap between presence and participation.
Join me as we dive into what it really means to belong—to a place, to a relationship, and to ourselves.
2:33 – Understanding The View Versus The Experience
2:50 – Observing Coastal Living
3:05 – Why Do People Move to Nature
3:23 – Experiencing Life Outdoors
3:46 – The Importance of Engagement
4:22 – A Lesson from Hawaii
4:58 – Nature as a Commodity
5:12 – The Idea of Possession Versus Belonging
5:54 – Connection Beyond Ownership
6:44 – The Need for Participation
7:22 – Reflecting on Dreams and Belonging
8:17 – Final Thoughts and Questions for Reflection
Check out Dr. Kathy’s latest book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome (ASD): Going over the Edge? Anniversary Edition”
➡️ Follow Dr. Kathy on Facebook
What does it mean to be an Empathic Alpha Woman? How can deep empathy shape not just our leadership style, but our entire sense of self?
In this episode, I’m exploring the intersection of strength and sensitivity, diving into the power of Radiant Empathy – a bold, intuitive leadership style that redefines what it means to be strong. We’ll discuss:
✨ The connection between empathy and effective leadership
✨ The courage it takes to fully embrace your true self
✨ Life lessons from navigating challenges with empathy
Join me for a thought-provoking conversation on leading with heart, standing in your power, and owning your unique strength.
It’s time to step into your Radiant Empathy.
1:03 – Discover What Radiant Empathy Means
1:54 – Recognize Your Alpha Identity
2:36 – Personal Story of Empathy in Action
3:19 – How to Handle Aggressive Situations
4:27 – Confronting Challenges with Confidence
5:34 – Understanding Animal Reactions to Leadership
6:42 – Lessons Learned from Animal Encounters
7:15 – Facing Down Fears for Empowerment
8:21 – Navigating Human Dynamics with Empathy
9:45 – Overcoming Professional Obstacles
11:04 – The Role of Empathy in Leadership
11:59 – Strength and Empathy: A Powerful Combination
13:31 – Building a Supportive Community
Check out Dr. Kathy’s latest book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome (ASD): Going over the Edge? Anniversary Edition”
➡️ Follow Dr. Kathy on Facebook
In this 15-year Anniversary Edition, Dr. Marshack shares insights into the intricacies of a NeuroDiverse relationship through vivid storytelling. She offers tools and strategies on how to cope and reclaim your sanity as a NeuroTypical (NT) and survive in a NeuroDiverse relationship.
