VIDEO CONFERENCE: Ashamed?
Feelings of shame are more complicated than feeling aggravated (the topic for the first January video conferences). Aggravation is honest anger with someone who keeps getting in your way. Shame on the other hand is a kind of codependence where you mistakenly take on responsibility for your “Aspie’s” misconduct.
For example, if your “Aspie” cannot remember your neighbor’s name, no matter how many times you remind him/her, is that really your fault? And is it your responsibility to help your neighbor understand why your “Aspie” is clueless? Not really.
So why do we feel ashamed? It’s because we see ourselves in relationship to others. It is the relationship that is vital to our happiness and self esteem. When our “Aspie” disrupts this happiness with their thoughtless or clueless behavior, we innately worry that the relationships will be harmed. Even the ones with our neighbors. And we take responsibility for this harm — because somebody has to.
In this video conference let’s talk about how to stop the shame dead in it’s tracks, and walk away from codependency.
Make sure you have a private place to talk, without interruption. I will send you reminders of this Zoom conference, but if you don’t have your email set to receive the reminders, you may not notice. I would hate to have you miss the call, so make sure you’re able to get my messages.